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Mountains & Valleys

by Stef on a Clear Day

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1.
Can I make you love me in 20 seconds? I could be swimming naked with the whales, my feet below the arctic edge no time to stop breathing, but it's time to stop breathing this is no slow and steady courtship I could be swimming naked with the whales, your soft flesh against my edge your breath in my ear, you said you like it glacial if it's gray just one more day... I can't make you love me I wish you well
2.
it’s been hard I can’t pick up the phone i’ve been really sad I wanna stitch you to my clothes wish you’d call wish you’d remind me to eat these thoughts are so consuming it’s hard to do what I need I know I should call you back open my mouth say i’m sorry say you’re lovely say how much you mean to me you held my hand you held it tight I cried so hard I cried all night you cut me open you pulled out the bite you patched me with glue you sewed me up tight you stayed by my side snuggled cheek to cheek poured my heart into you poured your heart into me
3.
My Body 02:51
my body... every muscle in my body aches... my how time passes by and these thoughts organize I don't know what i'm doing just... my body... knows the touch of your mouth and the weight of your words a gravitational pull to my body i've got you in my arms, i've got nothing to hide no butterflies, high tides, or railroad ties
4.
I think i'll ride my bike away unplug the radio on my way i'll ride past your house and say, “hey, let's play – today is the first of May” I sat on the corner of your bed with sounds in my head gotta reproduce the sounds in my head gonna paint for you this image in my eyes my grandpa's heaving sighs I think i'll ride my bike away unplug the radio on my way i'll ride past your house and say, “today is the first of May – it was five years ago, today”
5.
Dear Gaza, I can hear your voice dear Gaza, can you hear me? I am singing Dear Gaza I am still singing i’m on a stage should I still sing? Can I still sing? Dear Gaza, I am singing with sadness with love with joy with pain our boats await your shores one day Dear Gaza, I believe I believe, one day
6.
an hour off, chasing the sunset westward, here I go again clear the sky, make way for me into the mountains, I go tell me, in these Rockies, which way the wind blows this is my dream: to traverse this avalanche shoot and in my dream, I see rainbow clouds beside me as the earth falls out below me i'll taste of this adventure not sure where the earth ends, or where the clouds begin just a little ant, I navigate this land tectonic arms outstretched towards the sky and if I can't see the mountain for this valley i'm in I hope you'll help me make it up the hill again to where I can see what comes next
7.
Oh Quilcene 03:15
i've got salmon berries to my west and huckleberries to my east i've got huckleberries to my east and salmon berries to my west oh quilcene, you hardly know me (he said i'll) meet me/(you) at the light house and the cottage by the sea
8.
Stay 04:41
sometimes I forget how to breathe sometimes I forget I still need help practicing unlearning anxiety melodies fall one breath at a time but I held my breath these last three weeks learning how to speak she's always on guard, she keeps herself hard she keeps herself distant and heartless and hard she tells me she cares, she tells me she's scared she tells me that nothing will change anyways but I loved her dear, I thought, I loved her dear I wish I could hold her and make it all right you told me to stay – I tried, I tried, I tried. I tried, did you? You said to try harder, don't you remember? Maybe it's time for me to go.
9.
i'm trying to remember everything you said to document it, to tell it, to keep it from happening again Tell me tell me tell me it's time to come clean it's time to come clean it's time to tell me I only know the stories through this end of the phone I only know
10.
I have a story to tell of Mima & Pipa of inherited debt of the business he said, “on a scale of 1-10, a one won't land you in jail” I asked, was it illegal, or was it mismanagement? the year daddy didn't take a cut at payroll time he said, this is when you learn who your real friends are I have a story to tell of bankruptcy how we get to keep the house so, we start again

credits

released January 1, 2012

All songs except track 5 written & recorded by Stefanie Brendler at the House in the Sky in Seattle, WA; track 5 recorded by Opal Mekkelsen at Monstersori Observatory in Seattle, WA.

thank you: Tin Tree Factory (Johnny, Opal, Marc), Annah, Mark Gunnery

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Stef on a Clear Day Seattle, Washington

Stef on a Clear Day sings the intimacy of deep secrets and brings fading memories to life through storytelling, live-looping, electro-acoustic songscapes, micro-ballads, and poetic pleas.

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